Turrets

I’ve mentioned this before on another blog I think...
But I do genuinely think I must suffer from some mild form of turrets syndrome.

I swore in a church the other day – whilst talking to a minister....

Fucking Awesome.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Rems Vs Shyness

** I wrote this blog on 10.06.08 on a train ride back from Manchester - where I spent the afternoon with Ruth Badger from the Apprentice - and realised how much of a donut I actually am**

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The biggest lesson I’ve learned today is to ask for help when I need it!

Yes, to actually ask!

Whether it’s for money, support, an object... or just a hug.. that unless I ask clearly for what I want, it’s not going to come to me... or it will.. but only after I’ve run a long and convoluted and complicated way around the houses to get to it.

I’m not actually sure if deep down I’m just an idiot..

Or if deep down my shyness, which does exist, is stronger than I ever imagined that it was.

I’ve always known it’s been there... but I’ve fought with it my whole life which is why I probably seem the complete opposite and come across as totally confident. Low and behold should anyone know that i'm 'shy'! To me shyness has always been a weakness. I know that’s not right but it’s how I’ve always seen it.
My closest friends of mine know it’s there in me too.
They’ve seen it and commented on it. But most people who don’t know me that well... would think I am the least shy person they know.

I think my shyness is like what kryptonite is to superman.. Paralysing and a fecking royal pain in the arse.

Ok, maybe not as harsh as kryptonite.. But it’s the one thing that’ll bring me to my knees when it’s crunch time. This includes crunch time at: Basketball, business, relationships... you name it... I think it’s been a major contributory factor to my own lack of success in many areas...

'My own lack of success' doesn't make me a loser - i'm just not as successfull as I had hoped I would be by now.

World domination is a rather large target to meet admittedly.

I’m shy around boys that I like... (but aren't all girls?) - so nothing ever happens because I’m too shy to say what it is I want.

I’m shy in business and don’t ask for what I need when I need it - to make me more successful.

I’m shy about my background and the shit I’ve endured & I remain silent when I know I should speak up and let people know the truth sometimes.

I had another annoying problem for a really long time...
Truthfully it’s still not fully gone away yet... But I’m getting better at it.
The problem was that if I was ever given a compliment - I would always reject it.. with a ‘shut up’ or ‘no I don’t’ or ‘don’t say that’ – until a very wise ex boyfriend of mine told me once what I was doing and calmly said to me... ‘Rem, the next time I give you a compliment all I want you to do is say ‘thank you’ and nothing else. Just accept it. Do you think you can do that?’.

I thought about it. Could I do that? I could do that.
Seems simple enough... Doesn’t it?
I said yes. And ever since I still do it to this day.. When I get a compliment now I always hear his voice in the back of my mind and what he said to me... and a little shy ‘thank you’ squeaks out of my throat.

Occasionally I lapse on this.. like the other day my best friend’s wife said to me as I turned up at the pub ‘Rems you look liked you’ve lost some weight’ and I said ‘Thanks that really sweet of you... but I haven’t! I think I’ve put some on actually’. Man I was kicking myself. I took her kind words and instead of just saying thank you, I pissed all over it like the EEJIT I sometimes I am. It’s all rooted in my shyness – and not wanting to be the centre of attention and not wanting to be noticed and talked about.... Yet I always am. Isn’t that weird?

Back to my shyness – I think it comes from a fear of rejection. I was often told no to things when I was younger. I was let down a lot... I guess that still resonates with me to this day.

I suppose my fear is that I’ll ask for something and I’ll get told ‘No’.
So I’ve learned to just stop asking. Which is bad.

I’ve realised that in business I do actually fart arse about quite a bit.. I talk too much but don’t say what I really want to be saying.... instead of just asking directly: ‘So are you coming to my show or not? If not... why not?’.

Instead I’ll tell you how wonderful it all is and why it’s going to be so good blah blah blah.. Instead of just saying ‘what size stand would you like today sir?’.

It’s the same with boys... Instead of saying ‘Yep, I like you and how about it?’.
I’ll talk about how wonderful I am, how funny I am, what a great cook I’ve become, how I love to travel yadda yadda yadda... but never actually say ‘Yes, I’m interested in you, shall we go out sometime?’ or words to that effect.

I’m 100% pants.

But luckily for me... I know all this and can work to make some necessary changes to these annoying nuances aka flaws that I have... enabling me to become a stronger business woman and a better partner for the poor sod who ends up with me :-)

Game on.

I'm just misunderstood

Definition:
“Improperly understood or interpreted”.

I think it’d be fair to say that I spend a large portion of my day to day life being misunderstood.

This is phenomenally annoying and frustrating.

This is not because I am unable to speak clearly and put across a point succinctly.
Quite the opposite in fact.

It’s more to do with being born a frank and direct person and living in a country where it seems to be much better to be wishy washy and beat around the bush – and never actually say what it is you really mean.

People seem to take being frank and to the point as meaning you are either arrogant or aggressive.

Is that right?

And does that really make me arrogant?
Why is frankness and being direct - associated with arrogance?

Or is that only the case when you are around people who lack confidence?

I don’t know… I’m just tired of it all.

I’m SO over being “misunderstood”.
Think I’ll just stop talking to people – unless I REALLY have to.
It might make my life a lot easier and stress free.

Obesity

At the moment I am what I deem as being incredulously over weight.
I’m not happy with how much I weigh – and how I look at the moment.

It seems to be on my mind a lot lately.
I have to make some serious changes that are to do with my diet and my exercise routine.

Enough is enough.

Truly, it’s out of hand.

What i've been up to....

For a little there while life got a bit crazy for me.
I found myself enjoying being at work 15/16hours a day.

I became slightly obsessed with my new project, the actor expo show that’s happening at the end of the year. www.actorexpo.co.uk

Now, I cant swear to being fully over this obsession yet, as I’m still putting in a good 10hr day – but I am coming away feeling not as tired as I was during January and February this year. Man I was way under the radar for a while. I was too exhausted to talk to my friends, too tired to go the gym, had no energy to put my thoughts into my blog and was the biggest party pooper around. I don’t think I’ve really been out at all.

Does that make me a loser? Or just ridiculously focused?

I think a little of both I guess.

But would people say that of an athlete who at the peak of training cuts out certain parts of life’s pleasures? No drinking, no partying, no sex etc… Or would they say that they are completely focused on their goal and that’s how they should be… it is only for a few months a year?

Anyway – I like being completely focused. My mind is clear of shit and full of good stuff. Being so clear and focused sort of makes me feel a little bit powerful in some weird way.

I know what I’m doing! I know where I’m heading. I can see the end result. I’m excited by it. I’m challenged by it. I’m stimulated by it. I’m driven by it.
Those are the things that spurn me on.

Those are the things that enable me to go into meetings a confident strong person.
To approach people who are way out of my league and say ‘get involved will you?’.

This project has enabled me to meet, network with and connect with some amazing people.

That’s my tagline by the way: Network.Connect.Grow.
Yes, I’m a cheese ball, I know.

Along the way I’ve met some really incredible people which has made this whole journey all the more pleasurable. There’s the fantastic acting teacher who is very high up in his game and wants to be involved with this show. Full of ideas and has an equal amount of energy that I do (which is high).

I have made friends with an event organiser who is so knowledgeable and experienced that I sometimes feel like a small child in his presence. What’s remarkable is his abililty to share and be so open with me, someone who technically could be deemed as his competitor. He’s amazing and inspirational to me.

An American lady, who is kind warm and generous and again so willing to help with marketing.

All are renewing my faith in ‘good people’ existing still.

I’ve spent so much time around people who are secretive or selfish, by that I mean that they will only help or get involved in something if they can see how a situation benefits them first. I’m pleased to say that people like this are slowly and carefully taking a back seat in my life. Being someone who is generous, open and so willing to share what limited knowledge I do have, it’s difficult to be around people who are opposite to this.

But I’ve tried.

Anyway, today I have a mammoth amount of tasks to complete so am going to leave this blog here for today.

Hopefully I’ll be back with more updates soon, however I am keeping my video blogs as I go, I’ll upload them all one day.

Rems xx

''Couples night''

It’s becoming increasingly hard to remain patient with friends who overlook me because I am not 1 half of a couple anymore.

Yes, I am single again.

My dearest friends repeatedly have dinner parties where I am not invited as it’s a ‘couples night’.

Umm, what the fuck?!?

And how very dare someone judge you on your god damn ‘relationship status’ in life, I think it’s a fucking outrage.

So, because I do not have someone’s hand to hold at a dinner gathering, that somehow now handicaps me?

Does being single mean somehow you are changed and can no longer converse with friends or eat and drink in an enclosed space now?

When did single-dom become some new form of disability?
Where you have to be excluded from things?

Did I miss that chapter of the book?

It’s pathetic and narrow minded and I think that when I am in a relationship(again)I shall not exclude any friend of mine because of their relationship status.

“Oh, you’re STILL single are you? Fuck you, you’re not coming to my dinner party”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

A meal with friends is a meal with friends and a good night out with friends is a good night out with friends.. Whether they are single or have a partner.

Anyway, balls were royally busted today over this latest debacle…

And I was promptly invited to my friends for dinner this Saturday.

*Snigger*

A good moan can sometimes be very successful. Don't accept any shit.
Get moaning people!!

Christmas blues… Sort of..

Ok, first off, I’m really not depressed!

But this year I do not have even the tiniest sprinkling, minutiae of Christmas glitter about me. Not one ounce.

There are no Christmas trees in sight.
There are no flashing Christmas lights or decorations adorning my home.
There are no presents for myself OR anyone else for that matter about my person.

There is simply, nothing.
Just me and the cat.

The Christmas buzz and merriment has simply not reached me at all this year.
And I seem to have acquired a small hint of ‘Bar Humbug-ness’ about me.
But not the evil, mean kinda way – just the ‘I don’t really care about it’ way.

Do I feel mean spirited? Not at all.
But I just have not got that Christmas feeling this year.
I’ve avoided the shops like the plague. It’s just beyond unbearable. That’s not fun.
There is no desire to rush out and buy presents for people presents, because I’ll only end up pushing myself into further unnecessary debt.

And everything also seems to be so much more expensive than in the old days. Have you noticed the price of things lately? It’s shocking when you really stop and think about it.

It’s not all about money either; it’s simply there is no desire to celebrate this year.

And ultimately who are we really buying presents for?
Is it to make ourselves feel better?
Or is it to give presents that really means something to the recipient?
Or is it more about doing what we always do and that’s just follow the same old routine?
Trying to outshine other relatives and showboating… ‘hey, look how good my presents are… Look how much I’ve spent… aren’t I fabulous’.

Other than the prayer before we eat… do we even think about what it is exactly that we are celebrating?

Or is it simply a day to have off work and to give presents?

Ultimately, for me, it’s about spending time with the people that matter to me most and having a good time and reconnecting under one roof, for one day.
That to me is priceless and what it’s really about.
So that’s what I shall do this year.

Eat, be merry, share love and my time and keep it simple.

Free lunch - just be nice

There was a BIG fire the other day in London.

I was sat in the office and as I gazed in that 'day dreaming' sort of way over my right shoulder and out of the window... instead of my normal sight of the canary wharf tall skyline... I saw a strong, big, black cloud spiralling over the big tower.

My first thought was 'Oh Fuck'.

My second thought was 'Tell someone'.

So I ran to the studio next door, who has no windows facing the fire and grabbed Jacopo, the resident Italian photographer.

He came rushing to look and also said 'Oh fuck'.

He ran and got his camera.


He took some pictures, uploaded them, and guess what, 'Reuters', loved it so much they offered money there and then for the pictures.

This in a 1hr time frame.

So he's been promising me a drink for drawing his attention to it.

Then today - he calls me into the office and gives me a big hug and say's 'Guess what'.

'Reuters rang me up and booked me to take pictures at a reuters conference'.

It was a big job, which he done yesterday and was showing me his amazing conference pictures today on his computer.

Isn't it funny how 1 small thing leads on to other bigger things?

Anyway - he's so delighted he's buying me lunch.
Good shit.

The City of London

Today I was in the Kensington / Chelsea area looking at a venue for my next event.

I haven't been around that area 'properly' in years.
I was quite surprised.
No, scratch that.. I was REALLY surprised at how affluent and lovely it is.

It's the type of area you'd like to live in but know, you probably never will.

The cars were all easily £50k +, the woman looked liked they all had had surgery and sported the famous san tropez tans, they sported REAL designer handbags, the shops were high class, coffeeshops and eateries were everywhere and people were spending money in these expensive shops like we aren't about to go into a recession... I think we are by the way.... it's just around the corner, i can smell it in the air.

It was just an amazing difference to what i see on the streets of Lewisham.
People QUEUEING to shop in Primark and by £1 underwear.

The streets of Chelsea were clean. As in litter free. No mcdonalds litter or chewing gum staining the pavements. Just clean.

The shop fronts were unobtrusive and there was not a sniff of a spray can or any sign of graffiti anywhere.

I felt like i had landed on another continent.
Yet this was London.

As I got on the bus to head south (I thought i'd travel overland today rather than on the underground, so glad I did) - I started to feel a little bit depressed... that doesn't happen to often with me....

But as i passed big ben and the houses of parliament and went over the bridge and shuttled along the congested roads towards elephant and castle I felt myself sliding down the seat... slightly embarressed if i'm honest.

The streets became littered, people looked poor, ill even, the high class shops turned into fast food chicken shops, closed down businesses were bordered up, window displays were covered by window posters.

I started to feel like i live in the ghetto.
I don't.
But that's the overwhelming feeling I got.

I felt a rot in my stomach.

Sometimes lifting our heads over the parapit can be enlightening - but it can also be a bit depressing when you see how the other half live.

I know i should be greatful for all that i have and all that i am... but sometimes...

I just wish....

Another Birthday comes

OK, so in the usual fashion… It’s my birthday.
I always blog on my birthday… Every Year, come rain or shine:- )

How do I feel?

Umm.. The same as I do every year really.. Nonchalant.

Nah, it’s all good really.

I do find around my birthday – I’m a little bit more reflective on life, where I am, what I’ve achieved, where I’m going to, who I can live without, who I miss dearly.

I always plan to make changes here and there around my birthday time. I think we all do.
Some I actually do, some I just pontificate about…

But right now – life is good for me.
I’m healthy, focused, driven and content.

As usual there’s a lot going on for me.

Another season of basketball is about to start, my team, London Storm plays our first match tonight. We have a new team, with a fresh attitude and hunger for the game. It’s so exciting to be apart of it and to be apart of a ‘Team’.

My basketball events are ongoing and growing every year… the next event is in Dec.

The talent agency throws me challenges everyday – but my heart is into this so much – I know it will soon be a huge success when my brand name finally takes off.

I am planning a huge Actors Tradefair for next year – this event is coming together nicely.

And city superstar is about to roll in to town 

I don’t like to talk about my personal love life or relationships on this blog as I think it’s highly personal and something’s I think should be shared privately.

But I will say – I’m single again and am totally cool with that status.

Being single allows me to remain focused, not misguided and distracted.
Being single allows me to breathe deeply.

My only wish for this year is that I’d seen more sun.
My work and time has limited my ability to travel as much as I’d hoped for, this saddens me, but is most definitely rectifiable.

Tomorrow night I have friends coming out to a bar in London to celebrate my 31st birthday. The majority of them I consider to be my family and are people who matter to me the most in this world. They are Kelly, Jim-bob and Metin.

Whenever I see them they make me smile inside if that makes any sense to you.
I feel I can truly be me with them.

I can be a little bit wacky, blonde and even retarded if I want to be and they couldn’t give a shit. They know my heart and soul; and not many people do. They get me. My snappiness often is like water off a ducks back to them – it doesn’t even register to them. Why, because they know it’s often about something else and not them. We never argue. We just say ‘Fuck you’ and laugh at each other. Never has a grudge been held.

None of us are jealous of one another or ever try to bring the other down – we embrace who we are and I am blessed to have friends who I can be open with and whom just accept me ‘whole-heartedly’ for who I am.

Not ‘Remi the entrepreneur’.
Not ‘Remi the organiser’.
Not ‘Remi, the person I used to work with’.

But just ‘REMI’ – and all that comes with that.

Right now, I am reading a book called ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne.
It’s about the Law of attraction and focusing your mind on the things that you want and I’m finding it’s evoking a lot in me right now.

That’s all I’ll say for now.

Love y’all x

Dear Lorna

Hi honey,

I know you read this blog.
So here goes.

I MISS YOU!

Like THISSSSSSS MUUUUCCCCCH!

You know how 2 days before you left, it hit you that you were 'actually' leaving even though you knew for months you would be?

Well my moment has hit me too.

I keep going to my phone to text you an update you on the latest developments.. Or i go to call you for a quick chat.... And I can't.

That's mightly sad, I have to tell ya.

We all take friendship for granted sometimes I think and we don't always know what we have till it's gone.

Miss you loads babe.
I wish you well, you know that, but I wish you were here.
Honestly.

I wish I could've lied and told you all the worst case scenario's about going to live abroad.

But then i'd just be a terrible friend.

So i'm gonna pop a cork now, and blub some more at the TV.

Talk to you soon, hopefully x

Yellow Pages

Yesterday, as I walked through my apartment door... on the floor, besides the mail boxes, lay 6 copies of the latest Yellow pages.

I took 1 in to my flat and ripped off the unnecessary packaging.

To my surprise and delight - My company's name and address is in there!!!

Oh it made me whoop with joy.

Now I know it's only a small thing....

But all these small steps eventually lead to very BIG things...
Just you mark my words!

It felt as good as the first day the signage / placard went outside my offices to s=describe my business. I felt so proud!

Today was a GREAT and productive day, I worked from 10 - 9pm - Got Sooooo much work done on my latest project - tings are gwaan.... Happy Days.

;-)

Soon to be 'home alone'

I'm counting down the days until I have my flat back all to myself.
Hopefully It won't be long.
Yay!!!!!!

It's been nice having company for the last few months - however...
Having my own space - is a gem and it's my own personal retreat - I do treasure that.

This bout of sharing has taught me that I can share a home with someone, when I am good and ready to. It's nowhere near as tough as i had made it out to be in my head.

It's nice to sometimes have someone around to bounce ideas off... (my head is full of them).

I have learnt that I am adaptable, more tolerant than I thought, am good at sharing and am overly generous to others.

It's gonna be great to get my flat back - just me and chi @ home doing our thang.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

My Habits

Since living with 'S-to-the-D' we have both noticed some quirky, slightly weird habits of mine. Which include but are not limited to:

* Leaving kitchen cupboard doors open.
Sometimes arriving home and walking into the kitchen IS like a scene out of the Poltergeist movie. I even annoy myself with it. I'll walk in and be like 'Why the fuck are the cupboards all open?'.. Oh yeah, that'd be me. Doh.

* I sneeze A LOT.
Like, RIDICULOUSLY a lot. Doesn't matter what time of the day it is. Man, I can sneeze.
If it were an olympic sport....

* I use stupidly outdated and 80's phrases like:
'Fuzzy wuzzy' and 'Razzle Dazzle'. Which all still make me laugh.

* I am the mad washer woman of STH London - man I can't get away from the damn washing machine. I Love the smell of clean clothes mmm.

I'm sure there's way more...

Will the real REMI please stand up?

... So here's the deal....

I've been co-habiting with a boy for the last 6 weeks - we'll just call him 'special drew' for now :-)

Yesterday I baked 2 pumpkin pies from scratch and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Yep, I BAKED - incl the shortcrust pastry!!!
Errr.. Hellloo!!

AND Yesterday I made a salad with CELERY and BEETROOT in it.
Are you fucking serious?? Yes I am, and do you know what.. I enjoyed every mouthful of it.
These are 2 vegetables that from a very young age I detested.
Celery always tasted like posion.
Now I love them. It's totally freaking weird.

I think today, I might put a dress on...

Ummmm......

'Are you my dad?'

There’s a man in the gym I’ve started to see recently.

And there’s something about him, I’m not sure what it is, or why it is, but I have this overwhelming sensation every time I see him, that he is my father.

I’m fully aware that that is a strange and bizarre statement to make, yet it’s truly something I feel.

I have not seen my dad since my mum and he split some 20 years ago.

I have no idea what he looks like except for a faded image in my head of an old sephia photo I saw once of him, when I was about 10. That’s all I have to go on.

What’s more peculiar, is how this gentleman in turn looks at me when he see's me.
I don’t mean in a sexual way.
I mean in more of a familiar way.
There is definitely a sense of ‘something there’.

Could it really be after all these years of no contact that the world is so small that he could turn up and be a local member of my gym?

I suppose weirder things have happened.

I’m truly stumped by this and have no idea how to approach this.
Surely you can't go up to a perfect stranger and say 'Are you my dad?'.

It would be the most incredible, amazing, powerful and inspiring thing that could ever happen to me, to find and get to know my father.

Angry at my cat...

I got really annoyed with my cat today for multiple reasons…

I let her out after her incessant whining to go out. And yes, cats do whine. She was pawing the window, meow-ing, doing that whinny meow that’s not a real meow but a half in the throat kinda sound that grates on your nerves after about 10 seconds.Then she would stare at me – then look out the window – then stare at me laying on the guilt trip that she had not been outside for a few days.

At this point, I should’ve guessed that she had spotted another cat outside, but she was just too smart for me on this one.

So I walked her out the front door, gave her the usual warning about ‘not crossing the road’ – like she even understands. And as I open the door to the street she shot out and down the stairs faster than I could say ‘I love yoooooo’.

The usual drill is that I give her 20 – 30 mins to roam about in the neighbour’s gardens. I go to the door and she’s waiting for me to let her back in. OR I go to the door, she isn’t there so I give 1 call and where ever she is on the street – she’ll come running home (yes, I have her trained like a dog). OR OR I completely get distracted, forget I let her out, and one of my neighbours lets her in the block and gives me a ding on the door bell to let her back into the flat.

Today, none of the above happened.

I went out after 30 mins – she was not there.
I went there after 45 mins – she wasn’t there.

So I go outside and call. No response. No running to mamma.

So I walk to my neighbour’s pathway and there I see her and she is squared up, face to face with another cat. All that separates them is a few steps. She now looks nothing like my tiny dainty petite Chi that we all know all love, she’s now 3 times her normal size as her fur is all ruffled, her tail is HUGE and she looks like some breed of monster cat all growling, hissy and gnarly.

So I call her – and we both know that she now has a choice to make, either – come to mamma (& lose face in this fight) – or hold her ground to fight off this cat.

She chose the latter and that really got my goat.

I’m thinking – it is I who feeds you, you cheeky cow.
It’s not like you can’t see or hear me standing here calling you.

So I thought fuck it. If you’re not gonna respect me, I’m not gonna respect you, I’m gonna walk over and pick you up like a baby and humiliate you during combat with this cat and then he’ll go and tell all the other cats that you are the resident ‘pussy’ on this street. HA HA.

So I walk towards her and I can see her slightly reducing in size because she knows it me – but now she’s doing that whole ‘tennis head’ thing – looking left to right, left to right, mummy to cat, mummy to cat….

The other cat seizes his moment, retreats and bolts away to the rear of the garden – Chi, catches him making his move and bolts after him to attack him again.
I was really annoyed.

Now, the thing is I don’t know if I was annoyed because:
a) I thought she might get hurt
b) because she wasn’t listening to me
c) because whilst standing outside dealing with her my toast was burning
d) the fact she was beating up a homeless cat – he’s got enough shit to deal with I think
e) because I thought I raised her better than that – to street fight, how undignified
f) because she was being all territorial and it wasn’t even her garden
g) the fact that she was acting like a CAT and quite frankly I’ve come to think of her as a human, she talks to me, she brings me things and she shows my love and affection.
h) the fact that my slippers were all muddy from traipsing through gardens after her

After 5 mins of me crawling through green bush to get her out I proceeded to coax her out with my foot. Every time she tried to do the whole ‘flip over on the ground and don’t I look sweet thing’ – I gave her a tap with my foot and forced her home saying ‘I don’t think so love’.

She got in the house and followed me to the kitchen.
I told her that was mean to chase the cat down like that.

She tried to rub herself against my legs as she normally does.
I wouldn’t allow her to.
She kept trying.
I kept moving away so she knew I was pissed at her.
I put her food down and left her to eat.

By the time she got back to the bedroom, I felt a bit bad so gave her a stroke.

I then went to the gym, and when I returned an hour later she didn’t come to meet me at the door as she normally does.

Now she’s sat in the cupboard in the bedroom, double pissed back at me (probably rightfully so), and is now not giving me any attention whatsoever.

That’s probably a fair cop really.

Coo weee - I'm back

I've not been blogging for a while 'kind of deliberately on purpose'.

I've missed not blogging regularly....
But I’ve also enjoyed not blogging as well... If that makes any kind of sense?

I suppose its the idea of just... sitting back and taking it all in wholly.... as opposed to taking in the tiniest bits of it (life and experiences I'm referring to here) and then rushing here to my blog to capture and regurgitate that sampling of something that has just happened or occurred.
Instead - I've just absorbed it all. Felt it. Lived it. Loved it.

And was just at peace with myself.

So much has happened in the last month or so and it's kind of hard to know where to begin really. But life definitely got a little bit crazy for me...
And I’ve loved every second of it. More on this another time.

But, 1 of my reasons for stopping blogging for a while was to see what all the parasites who visit this site regularly and steal or copy my ideas, would do in my absence... (Yes, I DO see your IP and know just how often you come here... Loser).

And what I had foresaw and predicted would happen - DID happen.

They blogged WAY less (cos they had nothing to copy) and when they did decide to blog...
Well, let's just say that even a kid with ADHD, pumped to the hills on coca-cola, sweeties, chocolate and even after popping a couple of ecstasy tablets to boot.... would find it hard not to fall asleep and into an instant coma from sheer boredom from my parasites blogs.

It feels so good to be proven right.

And yes I’m completely stroking my own ego, indulging myself in my own glory and superior ness and even sugar coating it with a tint of smugness thrown in just for good measure.

Why?

Because I’m good… and we all know it.

So there.

Our office

My new desk.
Note the important features:

1 x Laptop
1 x Litre of innocence smoothie drink
1 x Bottle of water
1 x Michael Jordan picture to be put up
1 x mobile phone charger
1 x back pack.

What more does a girl need?





AVIT Clothing

Hannah's end... You can tell she works in fashion!














The lenth of the office....


We have some sorting out to do still....

We'll get there :-)

"The EX" etiquette

When you see an ex with his new girlfriend... Always smile sincerely.
Be polite. Show no malice or ill intent behind your eyes.
Be graceful. Not envious. Engage in enough conversation so as not to be rude.
Don't delve for any new information - who cares really?

Know that you are a better person for not behaving badly or bitterly towards your ex.
Even if you do want to spit in his eye.

Always say hello and goodbye.

Make strong eye contact.

Show him you just don't care anymore.. And that anything that was once there... Is now gone. Yup, allllll gone buddy.

...I just about remember your name my friend!

And as you walk away... Throw a smile that simply says
'Lovely to see you both and You're welcome to my sloppy seconds.... Enjoy'.

I sell people!

I sometimes think it'd be so much easier if I sold 'something'.
Like a real product!

My sister sells her beauty products.
Hannah sells her AVIT Tee's and Hoodies.
The studio round the corner sells Mirrors with weird decorative things on them.
My mate Ian sells his paintings.

I sell people.

Karma, Gym, pics - weekend update

Friday Day:

The day could not have started any better: I got a bank payment from Lloyds for my reclaimed bank charges. Just under £1500.00 – It took 6 months, a court date.. but I hung in there!!
Time to book that well needed holiday me thinks :)
Previous blog on this here>>

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY – NUMERO UNO

As I was driving to my mate’s house... I drove past a women with 3 dogs. 1 of them was lying in the shade… Like he had collapsed from the heat (it was hot on friday). I thought about my sis and her 3 dogs and knew I had to stop and help. I was already thinking I have 12 bottles of water in the boot – I can give her those for the dog. As I stopped to stare at this lady and her dogs the traffic started to build up behind me… and they started tooting at me to move on. So I whizzed around the corner and parked up… Ran down the road to see if she was ok.

She was fine.

The dog was a lazy bugger who just liked to have random lay downs the owner told me.

Anyway, she was delighted to have me run up and offer her water for the 3 dogs. She accepted. So I went to give her some bottles of water and realised that I was stood right outside of my friend’s house. So I went in and asked him for a bowl of water for the dogs. Thanks fully he said yes!Good deed done.. Ended up playing with dogs for about 10/15 mins.They were totally cute.

This dog made me pull over!

FRIDAY night:

I went to buy a bottle of Baileys in Tesco’s. Not sure what I had on my mind… But I turned onto a new aisle, and this woman nearly walked into me…I nearly screamed out loud! (thank the lord I screamed internally) – it was a woman in a BURKA. The only thing on view was her eyes. Which were behind glasses. The type of glasses that magnifies your eye’s, like 5 times bigger than they are.

So picture this: A TALL woman, completely covered head to toe in black, with magnified eyes, nearly colliding with me, whilst my head was already in cloud cuckoo land.
Properly freaked!

I can deal with the hijab – where the whole face is on show… But the Burka, wow! That's fierce!
Kinda understand the uproar it caused in france and teaching kids wearing it!
If it scared me....

It genuinely freaked me out. But I think it was more the big eyes. Big eyes in or out of a burka are fucking weird! I proceeded to walk around the store saying inside my head ‘what the fuck? What the fuck?’

SATURDAY MORNING

GYM UPDATE: Running wk 4 – Day 3

So here’s what I did today:
Run 3mins, Walk 3 mins
Run 4 mins, walk 4 mins
Run 3mins, Walk 3 mins
Run 3mins, Walk 3 mins

Covered 3k today – woohoo!
I done 31mins on the tread mill.
Done loads of push ups and sit ups today!

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY – YEP ANOTHER ONE.. KARMA HOOK ME UP ALREADY

After leaving the gym and passing my local fire station I was nabbed by a black fireman.I noticed there was a lot of black Staff about and no fire engines. There was a black DJ, Black nurses and black doctors all onsite.

It was a massive recruitment drive to get more black people to donate and get on the register for the Anthony Nolan trust. There are not enough black people on the bone marrow register and it being on it could help so many black people with leukaemia – so I thought sod it Rem, take 30 mins out of your day and do it!

So I did.

Fact: if you are white and have leukaemia there is a massive register and a 1 in 3 chance of finding a donor.

If you are black however, there is a 1 in 100,000 chance of finding a donor.
They be some sucky statistics.
So I gave a sample of blood and added myself to the register.

Knowing my luck – I’ll get called up straight away!
http://www.anthonynolan.org.uk/

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

An impromptu picnic, wine drinking and hanging out in Greenwich park…
What a glorious day it was. I hung out with some of the bball girls and our 2 coaches.

Sunbathed and took lots of pics, had a good laugh and catched up with the guys.
The weather was amazingly hot.
Drank too much wine!







< Me being creative

SATURDAY NIGHT


There was a gathering at my mate Jimbob’s house (on the left).

Old school mates congregating.
Drinking, smoking and playing poker.

I’m officially an old woman!

After eating a kebab and chips (you know it’s a must have after boozing all day)..

I think I fell asleep about 11.45pm on jimbob’s sofa.

I’m rubbish and I know it.




< Colin fell asleep before me teehee...





SUNDAY MORNING
Popped around to see my mum real quick this morning.
Kelly popped around to fix the leak on my radiator this morning.
Lovely to see him as always. Forgot to ask him to try and open my stuck kitchen drawer thought. Doh!

Went for a quick run today…

GYM UPDATE:
Warm up:
Ran 5 mins, Walk 3 mins, Sprint 1 min.
Covered 1k

Did 11mins on the machine.

I was supposed to do a timed mile today… could not be arsed.

Got on the bike and cycled for 10mins,
Got on the cross trainer and did 10 mins.
Push ups… Sit ups.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Met Richard for Lunch in Greenwich.
Ate a delicious roastie at the North pole.
Drank some pimms… yum.

Went to the Novotel and watched a Jazz act.
Was all very serene and civilised this avo!

SUNDAY EVENING

Went and saw my mate Ian in the Greenwich market. I nearly brought a picture for £120 off his mate… for my front room. Bottled it! That’s the equivalent of a short flight somewhere!




Took some pics of the burnt down cutty sark :-(







I met Lorna for a drink or two at the Trafalgar tavern.
We sat along the river front, drinking pimms by the jug (it’s the only way), discussing men and people watching. Man, we do that so well. Lol.



We’ve established: Size does matter!
If you’re short… No way Jose. Jog along.
A wee man is not a good look…. Unless of course you are wee yourself.
I however am not wee.



It’s really nice to have a girlfriend - who isn’t mental…
And whom I don’t have to phone, like everyday…
to validate a friendship.

They are few and hard to find!

No sleep

... I've been up all night in front of my laptop, writing emails and surfing the web!

Tomorrow is going to be a sucky day for sure!

My cat who had a very good sleep next to me on the sofa all night...
Just Got up.. yawned.. turned around and looked at me through her sleepy eyes..

And stared at me.

The look said 'You still here? Are we not going to bed yet?'

There's real daylight outside.
And the birds have actually stopped tweeting as the city is waking up...

...Whilst Remington is going to bed.
Night.

5.40am.

My Kitchen drawer nightmare...

It's been 7 WHOLE days....
Yup SEVEN whole days...

Count 'em up...

And would you believe it - I've still not been able to open my god damn kitchen drawer due to some random sodding utensil locking me out (you know when it gets stuck inside).

I have survived a week with:
1 Teaspoon.
2 forks.
1 cutting knife (ok to cut an onion with but not a water melon grr).
NO eating knifes.

Eating porridge and ice cream with a teaspoon... ummm, that's just about okish.
With my big mouth though I need a proper size spoon.

However, SPREADING BUTTER with a TEASPOON on to bread...
Is really not a good look.

I can't believe this drawer is STILL defeating me.
I seriously can't get it open - and yes i've tried from the back.

I need MAN help on this one..
Gonna have to call one of my mates over the weekend to help me...

Mood: Pissed & utensil-less

Big Brother 8 - Remi's first impressions of the housemates

Eating ice cream.
Decided to do a live blog and write my first impressions so that i can see how right or wrong I am by the end of the series. Impromptu so my typing might be a bit shit.

1st up - Sam and Amanda - Twins. Joint IQ (Yet to be discovered).
Think Olsen twins... Yup. JUST AS ANNOYING!
STOP FUCKING SCREAMING YOU IDIOTS AND LEARN SOME ACTUAL WORDS!
Seriously. Why were they not drowned at birth?

Next. Some old bird. Forgot her name already. But I foresee a mental breakdown and proper screaming outburst from her in about 2 months. She might stab someone as they sleep. whilst cackling to herself.

21.30 - Charley the 1st Black housemate enters the BB house... Quote 'I love money'.
She's unemployed and hangs around footballers and likes to party.
She's got long fake hair. Brought in 60 pairs of knickers. She wears hot pants and shakes her arse. My friend J would so bang her.
Bet she's gonna embarrass black ppl as all BB house mates inevitably do.

Tracey. 30 yr old hippy with pink hair. Looks like she needs a good wash and will have a BO problem. She also has a man's voice. Possible transexual. She likes dairylee. Fact.
I think she's gonna miss her spliffs and cocaine if she lasts the whole 3 months.
I don't think the housemates will like her. too Individual.
I'm loving that she had the word 'AVIT' on her floor and said 'AVING IT' as she walked in.
Big up my hannah at AVIT!
Her quote: unlucky kentucky.

21.45 Channelle enters.
From yorkshire. I hate her already.
Anyone who wants to be victoria beckham should be shot.
19. A proper Wanna be.
Ambitions: To be rich and famous. OK THEN.
She will have sex in the house... with anyone, so she can sell it to the papers when she leaves.
She will wear bikini's CONSTANTLY.
She will have conversations with the housemates WHILST looking in the camera.
She will cry for attention.
She will leave the house and get her tits out for a lads mag. Guaranteed.

21.47. Shabnam. Indian CHAV. Fuck off. Twat.
She likes people who like to eat.
Wow!
what a clever girl.
Nickname SHABBALICIOUS.
I repeat. FUCK OFF.

21.50 Emily arrives.
Blonde Indie girl. Likes rock boys. Looks like she'll be the honest sort.
Seems quite nice.
Favourite word: Hoodwink
That's a fricking cool word.
I like her.

Big Brother is back - HAPPY days!!!!!!

Channel 4 just got spanked by OFFCOM for allowing all that 'racialist and bullying' behaviour earlier in the year against Shilpa Shetty (Indian Actress).

There was no apology from channel 4 as speculated in the media.

Just an official ass spanking.

Weak.

P.S. ... I love Davina!
P.P.S .. I'm totally excited the show is back!

(There are 14weeks of this show - hence why it get's it's own label )

Running update - Wk 4 Day 2

Back on it today...

Ran 3 mins (fooking hard) then Walked 3 mins X 4.

I did it all as per plan... And it was tough... But I felt good at the end of it.

Covered 2.55km.
And spent 26mins on the machine....

I'm a little bit worried that i've only ever covered a distance of 2.5 km
Esp when i'm supposed to be running 5km soon :-/
...And 2.5km leaves me looking like a drowned rat when i've finished.

I hope this plan pans out for me... a little dubious it has to be said.

Bestest products.. Like Ever!

1) Innocent smoothies...
I don't care if I have no money in my pockets - I'll find that £3 a litre for their drinks...
They are off the charts! All natural - All fruit!
LOVE IT!

2) Green and Blacks Organic ice cream...
I'm not normally a crazy ice cream gal - but when I see G&B's tubs.. 2 for a fiver... It'd be rude not to.

They are the best. That is actually a fact. Like really.

Running update - wk4 Day 1

Ok...

So i'm now on week 4 of my bupa running programme.
Hoorah!!

I even bought new running shoes on sat AND some proper running socks.
The socks are padded in the right places and they are also ventilated. They are like magic socks.

So I got to the gym this morning and realised that I had not picked up my running plan and didn't know what I was supposed to be doing today...

So i just free styled and figured I'd do the official plan task tomorrow.

So today:

I did: Run 90 secs x walk 90 secs X 4

I took it fairly easy today as I played basketball last night and ran my timed mile on sunday.

Then I hopped off and done shit loads of push ups.
Proper ones. Not girly ones with the knees on the floor...
Honestly, what's the point of that?

Tomorrows running plan is to run 3mins x Walk 3mins X 4 - Holly foccacia.

I Love BASKETBALL

Basketball is the one thing that allows me a true and complete escape from life.

I go there and I play hard for 2 or 3 hours and the only thing I think about - is BASKETBALL!

Me, my game, beating others and working hard!

No worries about bills.

No worries about fellas.
No worries about scabby girlfriends.

No worries about ANYTHING.

It all gets vanquished away.

The great thing about it is you don't realise whilst you are doing it that its reducing your stress and worries without you even knowing it.

I got home tonight - after an impromptu scrimmage - and I feel GREAT.

My sadness and disappointment of yesterday - GONE!

Onwards and upwards...

I Love BASKETBALL and all its uncertified healing properties!!!

I don't care how cool Michael thinks he looks..
He still looks a bit gay to me.

I laughed so hard when he bust this one out.
I was bent over in stitches.

Had to make him strike a pose!

http://www.shootaballnotagun.com

Saturday - BBQ at Mike Mum's 50th

Mike and His Ma..
She looks great for 50.
Bless her... It was a great party.
Superb food!














Me, Mike and Laura.
(Bball crew)

Me and Mike

Eric

Running update - wk3 Day 2

Well at the end of this week according to my running plan I was supposed to run and time my first mile.

So I did it today.

I wanted to be under 10mins...

However... It HURT!

So I completed my first recorded mile in....

A whopping....

11mins and 10secs!

'AUNTY FLO' visited this week - and my Running update - wk3 Day 1